DESPITE DARKNESS..

I couldn’t make it to Kips that day perhaps on waking up late. I was preparing ECAT those days. There was no one at home, so I was completely chilling around, roaming here and there backing up the whole dozen of books aside, chewing on some gum. I opened up my laptop on a sudden whim.

This guy!!, He is so Cutteee !
He was a pretty decent, beautiful guy with some beard wearing a long cloak .
Dudddee!!! I just found an islamic version of Chace Crawford Mannnnn!!!
I couldn’t take my eyes off him .
It was a youtube video with some islamic thumbnail I didn’t quite bother to notice.

Whatever it is, i need to check him further. If the orator could turn out to be this ravishing, We, the girls, all of us, will turn to Islam one day…LOL
He was as if the angels speaking, I couldn’t bring myself to, once he started!! Haven’t seen like him in ages!!..

Moments and moments of seeing him , I started getting haya vibes

“Girl Girl !! Gonna zone out for some buck that might lead them to think how dopily you fell for some random religious guy who was no fun, just because he was pretty?? Ohh come onnnnnn ! Get A Life!!”

No! This guy !! He has something unusual. He is looking at me..

Whattt ??? What’s bringing this on?

I feel that..

Have you gone crazy ?
I looked at myself head to toe, I was wearing jeans and the shortest grey top I have had at that time with almost no sleeves. I looked back and forth in search of some cloth to cover myself up. I found one, covered my sleeves and lowered my gaze..

Noah Noah. There is something here !! There is something!!
He kept on and on
I covered my shoulders
I covered my head then
I hid my hair
I distanced myself from the laptop
I stood up

You know what ?? Close your laptop and go easy on yourself..

What’s wrong with you Shafaq ? Just blow off your steam lady !! Clearly he was saying:

Verily! Allah Almighty stretches out His hand by night to accept the repentance of those who sin by day and stretches out his hand by day to accept the repentance of those who sin by night, until the sun rises from the west.

Muslim 2759

Like seriously ??
He ?? You mean Allah ?
Creator of Heavens and the Earth, skies and stars , galaxies and black holes ? He stretches His hands ? He ? For me ?? Everyday ? Every night ??
Allahhhhh
On my book , some distance ahead , my calculator was laying quiet .
I rushed to it..

How old are you ?? .. 17…

How many months above ?
What the heck are you upto ??

Counttttt !!

4…
I was shivering. I was scared. I was blue. Converted all my age into days and then multiplied it with 2 .
12,650, it said.

You called me 12,650 times by stretching your arms to me and never did I once respond you back.
I wasn’t able to bear those moments !!
I went to my wardrobe, stumbling and falling , a whole mess of inappropriate shirts, jeans ,tights, everything!! I searched and searched.
I found a shirt, a longest shirt all in black, only one shirt with some decent full sleeves, black tights and a deep black stole. That was all I could find, He might like this dress.
I changed my outfit..
Trembling slowly, I went to another room. I was cold feet, I was frozen !!
My legs were not carrying me any further so I fell, I fell on my knees
I burst into tears.

All I could say was ‘ I’m sorry ‘
Hours after hours I cried. I felt as if I have put my head in His lap and He is right here.

He wasn’t mad at me. He wasn’t complaining. He didn’t reprimand nor He was sarcastic. He didn’t ask even once, where was I? He was happy, more than me .
I felt lighter .
My grandmother then came over. She said:

Ye abaya pehna hua hai ? kahan se liya apne ?

Nai ammi ! Merey pas abaya nai hai .
I cried so bad !!
Mere pas kuch b nai hai jo usey pasand hai !!

Author: Shafaq Javed